If God gave us some precious thing in our life then that is time. But time is limited for us and we have to do everything in our life in this limited time before it will escape from our hand and we can’t do anything even after regretting for it. So, time is precious let’s value it. In today’s life with our busy schedules we can’t give our precious time to our loved ones and to our family even we know that life is short and everything is unexpected here but due to our silly mistakes we always miss this opportunity. We always regret for our past after losing it.

Kartik was living in Allahabad of Uttar Pradesh. He was married and working in Telecom company on engineer’s post. His wife was also working in Naini in corporate sector. Naini and Allahabad both are cities of Uttar Pradesh and both are attached with each other through Ganga river. On one side of Ganga Allahabad is situated and another side Naini is situated.

One day in the evening Kartik invited his wife Sunaina on dinner. Both were working in two different companies and both were living in two different cities in two sides of river. So they decided to meet in between these cities. So today Kartik completed his work and went for dinner from his office. He reached the restaurant exactly at 7 pm as he informed his wife to come there at 7 pm. So he was in hurry and he thought maybe I will be late but he reached there on time. But he saw that his wife was absent there. So, he started waiting there. He booked a table in a restaurant and ordered the waiter to make the table more beautiful with flowers and candles. He made the scene more romantic. He started waiting for her. But when it was 8 pm then he became angry with her and he called her; but he controlled himself and asked her, “Where are you?” She said, “I am in Office, Kartik.” He was very angry but he couldn’t say a word to her. He asked about her arrival then she said, I am busy in some projects because they are talking for my promotion. So I am busy and I will come in some time. He hanged up the call.

Again after sometime, he called her then she said, “I am out from office and now I am coming. Wait for sometime Janu.” Then he took breathe peacefully that finally she is coming.

But when she came from office then it was 8 pm and at this time due to office persons traffic jams are common. Due to this from 8 pm it became 10 pm to reach the restaurant from Naini. When she reached there in restaurant then Kartik was also returning from the restaurant. Then she gave excuses for being late due to hectic schedule in office. As she was project head and she will be promoted in her company so it took more time to complete her work there and then she came here.

Then Kartik said, “It’s Okay. No problem we will come here some other day. Are you free the day after tomorrow?” Then she said, “No Kartik, I am not free that day. Tomorrow I have more works than today. I came today anyway just escaping some works, so I won’t come and I am sorry for that.” Then he said, “No issues don’t worry we will meet some other day. Let’s go our respective homes.” Finally they reached at their destination.

Life was going smoothly in their lives but do you know you can’t estimate the destiny’s deeds. You can’t estimate in which moment what will happen to you and to your loved ones and to your family. Life is unexpected and you have to accept this bitter truth of life. Sometimes you can’t imagine that what will happen to you and when it will happen to you because everything is unexpected. Because time is more powerful than us and we must have to value it.

After two months their meeting at that restaurant, one day he fell ill and when he diagnosed by the doctors then he came to know about Dengue. Yes, Dengue which is transmitted by a small mosquito which is several times smaller than human but sometimes it is more powerful than humans. Yes, a single bite is enough to end the life of human, so it is more powerful in front of humans and also more dangerous. Now he was suffering from Dengue and due to illness there was lack of platelets in his body. With each passing day his body became weak. He couldn’t walk properly now and couldn’t talk properly. With each passing day his condition was going worst and worst. He was losing his body flesh along with blood. Now he became completely weak and he was finally hospitalized. His eyes were sunken. His body colour completely changed into pale white. It looks he will die anytime.

One day when his wife got news of his illness then she came to meet him. She reached the hospital and went inside the room where he was admitted. She stood near Kartik. He was very happy after seeing her. Then he said to her, “Do you know Sunaina? I loved you from the time when I saw you for the first time in my colony. At that time I was only six years old. I don’t know what I saw inside you that I fell in love with you in the age when no one knows about what love is. I started loving you from that time. I always waited for you in my balcony to see you for a few seconds. I always waited for you whenever I play cricket match in the street. I loved you from the bottom of my heart. I went with you to the same school.”

“After that when you took admission in engineering college then I also took admission in the same college just confessing my father to give permission for study in that college even I knew that my father’s condition was not good and he couldn’t pay for me but for my happiness he sent to me in your college. In this way I completed my engineering degree and the day when we celebrated Farewell of our college with our friends. I proposed you that day and after getting job I got married with you. We both love each other infinitely but we had no time to come more close to each other from childhood to till now even after marriage. After marriage we both were busy in our jobs and we had no time to enjoy our personal life. We have always prioritise our professional life. I don’t know if it’s our mistake or it’s our destiny’s game but do you know now I don’t believe on destiny because we always do what we think so it’s not a game of our destiny. We can’t blame for this to our destiny. Loving someone’s body is not love but loving someone’s soul is love. If true love happens then it always happens with soul not with body. I loved you, I love you and I will love you forever. I can’t say how much I love you. I want to hug you tightly but I couldn’t because I am unable to stand from this bed. Last but not least please take this book Sunaina. This book is written by me Sunaina. Please must read this book at least one time. I can’t say more know. What I think for you and what I want to say to you, everything mentioned in this book and yes I love you Sunaina. I love you so much…………”

P…….P……….P ………..P………P……….P………………………………

Life is completely twisted only you have breathe and you are living on this earth after that if you leave this body then everything is just like straight line. Life will leave your body but not your soul.

Yes, when he said last time everything to Sunaina after that he died and he took his last breathe in front of her and in that hospital.

After his departure she opened his book and started reading in which he mentioned about ‘One Hundred One Times’ to confess her and to feel her how important she was for him. She read whole book in single sitting. After reading his book her eyes filled with tears and she started weeping loudly. She couldn’t hide her tears. She couldn’t hide her feelings. She couldn’t hide her emotions. Now nothing was in her hand and she couldn’t do anything. She lost the most precious thing of her life. She couldn’t get him back in his life. Now she had to live only in his dreams.

It’s not a story of only Kartik and Sunaina but it’s a story of several families and several lovers. They always loss their precious things as well as precious moments just due to lack of time for each other. In today’s time we are so busy in jobs and professional life and sometimes to make ourselves richer and to get our status among some rich persons of world that we have no time for our personal life. We often forget our relationship value. We often forget our opportunities what we got in our life. Among us maybe many people can’t give time in relationship. But for every relationship the most important present is time and we see that time is passing more speedily than what we think about it. Don’t wait for the right moment and don’t waste the moment just waiting for the right moment but invest and enjoy the time what you have in your hand. We all have limited time and even we don’t know when it will escape from our hand. So enjoy life in its limited time. Find the trick to make someone feel that he or she is special for you those who are with you. Find all those one hundred tricks to make them feel that they are special to you. No one knows that we will get this time again or not. So let’s enjoy this time and try to confess someone how special they are for you before the time escape from our hand. If something is limited for us is time, so it is very precious thing that we got and we must have to value it. We must have to gain this opportunity and we must have to enjoy before it leaves us and later on we have to regret for this. If it escapes from our hand then we can’t do anything even if we regret and promise to do anything to get it back in our life again.

I was once very happy. Long ago. I danced then. Danced the whole day. I don’t exactly remember what made me happy, but the reason must have been something innocent, as I was only 3 or 4 then. I do things which are not acceptable by conventional society, I am odd, I am wild, and that’s how I am different. And therefore, I am Ninny.

Out of an aching day and seldom schedule, came 10^thDec, when we have matched our choices.

11th 12th 13^th-the wicket gates of our heart opened. We texted. Not much amiable. Just like strangers are introduced to each other.

14^th the story begins. Yes, yes! We met.  *__*

Me: *Rings* Hii! Nibedita here.

Other side: Hey

Me: (Like a despo) Can we meet today, by any chance?

Other side: Yes, why not! I need a couple of minutes to resolve my work here at Behala. Let’s catch up at 3:30?

Me: Okay! PLEA……

Other side: *HANGS*

…..ASE BE ON TIME……..

After a languid stroll from 15, Strand Road towards Esplanade, I loitered in and around St John’s Cathedral and cherished the ruins of Calcutta and the exquisitely famous Black Hole to kill (read FUCK) time, I reached SHARP at 3:30

Me: Hey, where are you? I am almost here. (Though I was already there. Hungry. Exasperated. Lonely)

Other side: Hi! (Did sound more “high” than “hi”) I need 15mins more to complete my work. Could you please wait for quarter of an hour more?

Me: Yah! Okay. All that was going inside my mind was – WHAT IN THUNDER IS THE MEANING OF THAT???

I chose to take a walk with the humdrum crowd. Nevertheless, Esplanade is my favourite joint to shop, eat and hang around. But, that day, I don’t know why, I felt maimed. I was over with all my inquest and fanciful shoppe. All I could do then was to WAIT for some sailor whose tale-tell pic amused me.

At 5:25pm, (when I was trying to connect to Park Streets wifi), my cellphone rang. The veracity of the moment calmed my indignant casque.

Other side: Hey! I am here. Where are you?

Me: Wait for me near Fair Lawn, I’ll join you in a couple of minutes.

Poco a poco, the heavy appetite girl met a bozo. Anon, I recognized the lazy lamb on black tee waiting with a good camera cellphone who made me wait for 2 and a half hours (3pm to 5:30pm to be specific). *shook hands* My wait was not in vain.

We walked down the mysterious by-lanes of Shudder Street. I DIDN’T KNOW THAT LOVE ALREADY CAME BY MY SIDE.

A real love story begins here. It was like an idyll, our Day 1 of meeting in person. I was indeed dating my boy (read girl), whom I’ve known since past 4 days, only. As we were over with the formal introduction while walking, investigating and plying, we looked for a place to smoke up. Yes! Actually. I had told him earlier in our text chat that I am up for every possible activity that takes us beyond bonkers. Later I discovered that this very reason had made him delay by an hour or so. By 6:30, both of us had enough of gibberish followed by absolute rubbish experiences of life. We discussed the wackiest of ideas and shared the ‘moment’. And Yo! He made sure that it was special.

He is an amazing person. His eyes told me that he was true, honest and genuine by nature. I shelled out of decrepitude and felt that my system, traditionally called the seat of emotion, the muscular organ that pumps blood through the body, grew athwart. Right at that point of time, without his notice, I stole away glances of him. I so wished to say him that I found my muse-man. He had no idea how much I fell for him on that very day but at the same time I chose to step back, keep quiet, and be a girl. Holding on to my emotions I kept staring. When we stepped inside the beautifully gardened lawn, we had no plans of getting drunk. I am a fitness freak and hate drinking beer. For the sake of ‘just a meet’ and ‘smoke up’ the world turned topsy turvy. While leaving the place at 7:30, we were found with not much but a plate of chilly chicken and FIVE beer bottles, only. Yes! Each of us drowned in love and dizziness of beer along with Babajiki Booty on the rocks. Aphoristic myself within, beckoned with a strange warmth imurmured, I was once very happy, long ago. I don’t know from where did I acquire the strength to trust that man, what did I see in him, or what made me hang around with such an absolute stranger. I knew nothing of him except his name, his gibberish about his family and friends. But not every man has the power to capture me so well. I was convinced with the fact that I felt secure and he needn’t hunt me down. I was already his.

All the way, he travelled along with me just like a price tag hangs along with a newly bought tee shirt. I didn’t know whether he wanted to behave like a gentle man or he actually was but I can guarantee that his biceps were strong enough and performed good in keeping me stand straight. We talked for the rest of the journey and Dumdum never seemed so short a distance to me. Aaah! It was time to bid goodbye to each other, though none of us wanted to. He managed to be docile as we parted. Suddenly he called me back, and ‘glyphed’ a hug (the long-awaited HUG that germinated this story) which surprised me and soon we were close with this affectionate embrace. This sudden inclination changed the moods and thereafter he missed the last local.

Oye Sailor,

You are a nice well-meaning man. You have made me look at you with my tongue-in-cheek. I can never ever ever in my life forget this auspicious day that made you so close to me. The subtle kiss you planted on my forehead is still fresh and tender. The relinquishment to the care and warmth assembled a delightful hue and melody to the choirs of strings in my heart. I loved you then and I love you now, so always. I met a person soft and mild, polite and respectful, friendly and kind. That’s all I needed in my man. You are a sweet gentle soul who has no interest in patrolling my naughtiest activities but encouraging them I suppose. You’re a novelty, my girl. I feel good in your presence.

J

On 15^th Dec, our neonatal romantic relationship grew a day. We started sharing our stories through texts, to know each other better. I was coveted to meet this strange childish person again. I guess, we both went furore. All this time, none of us rang each other. (We were storing all the news inside us just to take the good feel of relaxation, just like while emptying our bashful bladders. The best part of this love some affinity was that-We didn’t wish to squirm each other. He was busy with his friends and I brooded with my own piece of work. It wasn’t as exciting as the ‘days we met’. Let me tell you. I am a self-sufficient woman, badly independent. A multitasker. In short, an amazing woman. Okay, enough of eulogizing myself. It’s upon you to critique. I know that I live in my own cocooned dream world and feel comfortable within it. It is because, the world doesn’t woo me much, and neither the guys. Some say, I am not living on the ground realities of life. To them, I say yes! I love to be free, I love to think, reason and question. I do not disembowel my mind from my body. It was then, felt sudden upheaval and was scared if it all was an affectation. I felt so worthless and injured deep inside. Suddenly, my mobile whistled, the message tone cheered me up. It was HIM. Yay! We talked for hours. He spoke like an idiot and I participated too. This alouette from Ranchi was so late in his replies (MUST be busy with some other gfzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz). His schedule was so hopeless that I had least interest in the obscurity. The night owl slept at 4am without any definite reason. Drank like a buffalo. Smoked like a corpulent perpetrator. My deadly man.  Oh! I heart him.

On 16^th of December we talked for the first time over phone. Of course, FIRST time like a typical male gendered self, talking to the opposite gendered one. OMG!! his voice sounds amazing on phone. The criminal mind inside me knocked all my goodness down in an innocuous way. I kept on speaking rubbish and held him over the phone as long as I could. I had put all my eloquent skills just to hear him from the other side. The unfamiliarity between us started to become familiar. I know, I had secretly harassed him. Sorry but No sorry for that. Yea yeah, I know I am Sweet. That must be running down your mind as you read this line. So, I tell you, it is sufficient for you to know, that I LOVE YOU. Now, as I loved him, and I was quite sure about it, I had decided to take one more risk, that is –to put his picture in my contact list. To my utmost remembrance, I feel shy to think now, how being over possessive I have asked him, rather ordered him to remove his tinder display picture, and demanded him to send that to me.    Later on, discovering that he dutifully obeyed, I felt like jumping from my bed twice and giving a treat to my all-time naughty cousin. 

The loveliest of the lovely 17^th December it was.

Me: Can I date you in a bad place with good food? {Did I ACTUALLY ask him for a date? DATE??} My heart skipped a beat. I felt like a lynch until my princess whistled again.

Mr. Man: Yes, why not.

That DIL MEIN BAJI GUITAAR walla feeling must be known to every single tharki boy residing in this planet. Yea dude! M enjoying the same. Hi 5! 

Now that this apparition was ON TIME, I was delayed by FOURTY effective affectionate wonderful exciting minutes, not by choice but by work. I wore a blue top and grey jeans with a casual hairdo. He wore a black shirt and blue jeans. Seems none of us took much effort to look good. We had prior plans for a movie, food and smoke up. As none of us fetched time for breakfast, so it was our pleasant opportunity to feed each other in a delightful Tibetan restaurant that serves the best momo in Kolkata. He tried to surprise me like a decent guy with a pack of chocolate and me like a hungry little bird grabbed from his hand. EEEEEEEEEEE. So, we started with pork pan fried momos followed by crispy chilly pork fries and sweet corn soup. It was yum and delicious. Though I was watching my honey eyed man sitting right in front of me and savouring the dishes. Having ate so much then, we had to find a safe place to smoke up and therefore to the best of my knowledge, it was nowhere else than Nandan, my favourite hangout place at Kolkata. Nandan is a beautifully fringed theatre hall beside the Academy of Arts and Culture, the joint for coherent Bengal brouhaha’s who enjoy their spare time here in creation and exchanging ideas to change the world. Guess what! Our criminology was being worked in an open space, I helped him crushing the weed and he cannoned it right there, under the bare blue sky, dolichocephalic marbled staircase, though the soothing air disturbed us a bit. I made him taste the famous masala tea that I love. To our extreme crazy exhumation, we next planned to visit South City mall (Mind you, after wasting 30mins in deciding and waiting for cab and it was plain his mistake *twisted lips*). My Mr manly Man wished to smoke up but dared not to do so in front of the mall, so I had decided to take up the task and lighten the cannon of sunshine to enlighten my nigga about the tricks of being humdinger. The purport of travelling from mid Kolkata to extreme south was just to watch what my nigga actually does in professional life, and by deciphering that uncouth rigorous scene, I was feeling like WHY ON EARTH DID I GO SHA-LA-LA-LA-LA WITH THE PICTURE OF SAILOR IN WHITE? At the same time I was concerned for this little heart. Because he was an idiot so I loved him more and much. With a gradual madness drive, we yearned to stay together a little more. Not much distant was SantasFantasea, the joint that delivers the awesome squid and Octopus dishes. We hankered there likeably, taking a tumultuous route. And this journey specifically talked of our relationship. I got a peck on my cheek and heard a “sorry, if that wasn’t okay”. Despite feeling like springing up and asking for another kiss on my right cheek, I stopped a while. On seeing his eyes dropped down (which I could hardly bear), I pulled his face towards me and planted a large scotchy on the rocks wala kiss that was enough to make him feel like taking a parachute and dive in the air. The third person present there was in no mood to deliver ‘you may kiss the bride’ rather voyeurised us thinking ‘You may now pay the bill and leave my cab’. I never thought in my wildest dreams that Mr. ‘You are so hugable’ will actually truly become MY teddy bear someday so soon. It was all so fast.

After a day well spent, my man in black fared along with me all the way home.  Having a plan to smoke up in the airport we moved to a position in a queue a further forward. The auto ride from now will be my general want of longing him. He is my delightful cause of joy. I miss the strong sensation of him sitting beside me and the feeling of desire that was driven by his tickly touch. My horny young man tried to seduce me but being failed to get my approval had to stay back unplanned for consecutive three days. Yes, yes THREE days. You can feel the excitement you see.

18^thDec was the day of Unplanned, unorganized and spontaneous venture. The dramatic intervention of thunders and lightening along with romantic rains dripped until the ammunition of cupid was exhausted. Due to such a great ado, I knew not when we can meet. The plan got postponed from 5am to 10am, and the quantity of my enthusiasm to see his happy face arose 10 degrees with each passing second. Each minute felt like an eternity and neither could I call him up as he was still a ‘stranger’ to me.

In the meantime, I had certain perturbing thoughts, I wanted to tell him so many hidden secrets which I tried to but failed. I might have actually let him go, I solely cried to myself. I had detested love, family, laugh all these while. Life was in a mess, when I actually found him. Most of my time flew being piqued, vexed and nettled into daily course. He was a ray of hope.

Earnest Hemingway hath beautifully said:

“It is when we are all broken, the light seeps in”.

Finally, we had a pleasant WALK TO REMEMBER, and it went on. I was super excited to show him my favourite place in North Kolkata. Especially the hue of Airport that is more often travelled but goes unnoticed by most of the conventional on-goers. I took him to the best view spot and the foggy weather added to my eulogy of the location. An open region of Greenland, an absolute frame of mind and the prince charming by my side. What else do I want alive on this planet? I feel the happiest woman on earth. On this auspicious day, I had received the priceless complete tight hug here in front of more than 100 stranger eyes looking at us. I felt like a proud lover.   *blush blush* The soothing fragrance of morning air healed all my weary, dull, discoloured self and demurred the breeze in my flowing hair. He too looked fresh and fine with that sparkling smile on his face that satiated my heart quite much.

 While away, we met Akshay, a dear chum of his, who was very brotherly. He made an affectionate approach towards me and of course the joint we had. After loitering there around the airport for a while, we made a hasty plan to have beer and chilly chicken. Huzzah! We did it. NO, not only the plan but I kissed him. Yes! I don’t know what exactly pulled me back and come to him, and kiss him at once. OH, the smile on his face was so dainty, youthful and precious. My first kiss (which my man presented to me without even brushing his teeth). Imagine! But am uber happy about it. The feeling of his soft lips, the warmth of his hug lingers in my mind each time I listen to a romantic melody after that day. My world had been complete after that kiss, I felt stronger. All I wanted now, was the strength to protect him, my impetus. He was as gentle as sunlight. For I know now, he was my man.  We took horrible selfies together. His touch healed my cut within. His smile is the cutest thing I find on earth.

 19^th December, the deux day of his stay at Chinar Park, I discovered that he was ‘the’ kind of My man. We rolled down to Haldiram’s, a food joint near Airport, and ordered all the drinks available, now that was fun. I was invited to Akshay’s place for breakfast (which later turned to be lunch)

 On this very day, I had shared the titbits of my life with him. That whole previous night I was daunted by thoughts that I can lose him in no time. It already snowed a number of times in my mind. I wondered how he would react. On that moment, I felt like I knew where eternity, our heart, our souls all lay. I felt like I could share the entire life and live with him and next moment I was suddenly filled with an insufferable sadness. I felt that our lives are too large and filled with endless amount of time spread-out helplessly before us.  This time would soon gradually melt away. What do I do if I lose him? I so much wanted to tell him that I love him as much as I love to scribble on walls. I wanted him to be my diary where I can express my ideas and observations. I wanted to explain him how I used to be like the cold island that grows cooler each time it had faced the typhoon without any effect of the winds blowing over the sugarcane fields. I wanted to tell him that, I felt like a victim whose past has been taken away and I was a mere defeated person who lost her past in social power struggle. Soldiers are often born within destruction, and that’s exactly how I became a fighter cat.

Dear,

 I want to tell you aloud that, even though I was there, my senses weren’t present. It’s me who has fallen in love with you, in spite of being afraid of love, loathe the word ‘male’. I want you to be my Muse man, to be a part of my whole. I want you. I desire you. I love you. Do you?

It was joy to stay with you, sharing a little more, caring a lot, kissing you and hugging you time and again. ‘9 holes golf playing only putting’ shall be in my records till my death bed. LOL. Such fun. I remember, your canines being flaunted with the graceful smile. I remember the warmth of your closeness. I also remember how you opened my clutched hair and let it flow. I remember how badly I wished time to freeze and longed to stay with you, how I held your arms tight in the bus. I remember it all. I knew not, what was happening in my life, I knew not if it was a dream or truth but am glad that you happened to me. Too beautifully.

20^th Dec he proposed to me. It was like a streak of smoke trail that crossed my heart. I felt like saying him it would be great to watch cherry blossom together next year. It all happened so quickly with little or no warning.

The colour red was never in my choice list but I could feel I’m loving it now. I felt like wagging my invisible tail back n forth since I’m unable to hide my happiness. Thank goodness that I’m not really a dog (bitch sounds gritty). You know, the edges of the cloud looked gentler and I felt like a poet. THIS feeling was awesome. I m a fashion disaster, I’m never like the girls around me. Still,

Will you BE WITH ME

In sickness and in health?

In affluence and in poverty?

Will u be patient during my mood swings?

With this Unsophisticated me. Will you? One day I will gather all your memories, go to the beach, and mix them with the sand. No one will ever know why sandcastles glow.

 Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from afaraway place. This was something which harboured inside you. So, all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, and walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no directions, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you need to be. 

21^st of December was the coolest of all. I remember meeting a parietal fissure in south city mall. That’s an unimportant part though. Basically, I had to spend time with my honey bun as he was supposed to leave that night. His train was scheduled at 10pm, when at 7pm Sailor -the great was playing snooker with four of his friends. No sooner did I meet him, he approached me with a hug and introduced to everyone. He invited me to play too. The game was new to me, so was the strange looking stick. I better not describe that. While he was teaching me the rules of the game, I kept looking at his face and thought HOW CAN BE A GUY SO CALM WHEN ITS 7:30 AND HE HAS TO REACH STATION BY 9. SUPRIZINGLY HE DID NOT EVEN PACK HIS BAG! WOW!  Yet, I was at absolute peace and knew not what would be his next action. To utter insanity, I took the stick (or whatever they call) and hit the ball. Bravo! My first strike was a hit. Okay! He was getting more interested in the game now. Although I was pissed off, still I had to smile coz I had no idea what was to be done next. Finally, I decided to stay back. We went to his place, scored a joint and conspired with Rohan to cancel his plan to GO home.

We never know what tomorrow has in store for us. That evening, we cuddled like mad, kissed like mentally deranged ones. It was all ever enthusiastic, infatuated, desired one. It was then, he planted a kiss on my tummy. *blush blush* Waves rolled forward as if it rolled away everything with it. It rolled on like that. Whenever I go near you, deep down my heart it clenches a little.

I remember how I used to be a long time ago, the journey was so lonely, and you were unimaginable. To just press forward through the pitch-black darkness, barely encountering any single person I passed, whole heartedly believed that you’ll come and discover the secrets of the universe within the unfathomable abyss of space. I wonder how far we’ll really go. How far can we go?

I am not a Cinderella. The constant fear that the clock will strike 12 and the spell will be over and I don’t have a glass slipper to leave and nor are you prince charming to come looking for me. I wouldn’t wait and let you know right now how breathtaking you taste and smell and sound. How I crave for you when you’re right there beside me, holding my hand and I don’t have any clue how to quench my thirst. I am tired of having dry throat and the doctors have said kisses are only solution. Sudden, stretched, soul claiming kisses that would leave blood on your lips and sweat on my neck and we’ll laugh into each other’s arm. Cure my insanity. Or perhaps let it be.

22^nd Dec was the SEE OFF day. I had almost run a marathon at the busiest station in the world. Every single time I saw him, I felt more and more in love with him. Butit’s so scary and every single day after that goodbye went painfully untold. The memories of this winter will keep revolving around me. The night out, the hairdo, the date after date. Thanks as always, now I believe that miracles do occur. If wishes do come true I want to be at your side. I want to tell you that you aren’t my possession. All I can say is my feelings for you wouldn’t lose to anyone. Please don’t go far. I don’t want to separate. To make it up to you, I’ll give all the stars in the universe. A woman in love is never satisfied if her lover remembers her with only one part of his body. She wishes to grow like a cancer within him, to fill him with awareness and pain. That is the specialty and cruelty in love.

I had always wanted to be parented, guided and coached all through my life. Somebody to depend on. Somebody to love and loved by. A Svengali. A playmate. A dustbin. A diary. Who won’t judge me but encourage my rights and correct my wrongs. God sent my sailor-man with a can of weed.

For beloved,

From yours truly,

Together forever, in fights and love