Neerja Verma is a social worker and Social Studies teacher in a government school in the city of Shitalpur. She dons her peach coloured sari with a light red border. Applying kohl in her eyes, she places a medium-sized red-coloured bindi at the forehead’s centre. Few minutes later, Beena, her 14-year old daughter, calls out for breakfast.
“Ma, aaj naashte mei kya hai? (What’s for breakfast today?) Oh! Phirse cornflakes…”
Haan, beta… aaj khaalo. (Have it for today.) I will prepare something special tomorrow as it is Saturday. It is already 7:45 a.m. you will miss the school bus. Finish your breakfast quickly and run.”
Beena boards the bus and leaves for school.
At 8 a.m., Neerja is on her way to school in the auto. The commute time to school is 20 minutes, including two traffic signals. The sun is shining on the first traffic signal that has turned red for 120 seconds. The timer is running. Neerja observes a man secretly clicking pictures of young girls standing at the chai shop in the nukkad on the diagonal-right of the road. The girls are students of a medical college, located 10 minutes away from the chai shop. The incident keeps rankling on her mind. The police station is 500m away from the second traffic signal. She thinks of informing the police but later drops the plan. The bell rings. Students gather at the assembly hall for the Morning Prayer.
After the assembly, students go to their respective classrooms. At 1 p.m., Neerja proceeds towards the Staff Room for lunch. Satish, the Mathematics teacher, observes her for some time and then asks, “Sab theek hai na? (Is everything alright?)” Neerja nods with a smiling face.
At 3p.m. another day at the schools ends. Neerja is passing through the same route, when she sees the same mischievous man, now clicking pictures of school girls. At home, Beena talks about her day at school. Neerja helps her finish homework and at 5:30 p.m. Beena runs down to the playground.
Next day, after witnessing the same incident, Neerja puts her foot down and decides to file a police complaint.
“Inspector, I have seen a man secretly clicking pictures of young girls near the nukkad tea shop at Bhure Marg.”
“Madam, are you sure?”
“Yes, Sir. I have been observing his nuances for some days now. En route to school the chai shop is visible from the opposite traffic signal. The man parks his motorcycle, smokes a cigarette, has tea and then hides behind a tree and clicks photos.”
“Ok, Madam. We shall look into the case.”
She thanks the Inspector and leaves. Next day, the dead body of a girl from the medical college is found near a godown at Chhapra. (Chhapra is located 100 kms away from Shitalpur and 15 kms away from NH 8 that heads towards Delhi.)
Neerja rushes to the police station. “Sir, I have seen her at the nukkad 2 weeks ago. I am sure, that mischievous man is involved in her murder.”
“Madam, first get relax and sit down. SI Mishra will file your complaint.”
She leaves the station in half an hour.
A thorough investigation begins. First two weeks do not reveal much information. In the third week, Neerja receives a threat call.
A crude voice from the other side sounds a warning, “What’s the problem with you? Don’t interfere in this case otherwise nobody knows what your future will look like. Shut up and mind your own business.”
Few droplets of sweat trickle down her forehead. She informs the SI about the threat call. The Delhi police finally get a lead after 20 days – Chatur Singh, a key member of Lallan Bhai’s team. Lallan Bhai is the kingpin of women trafficking in Delhi. His agents kidnap young girls from schools and colleges and sell them to top-notch businessmen, politicians and Sheikhs in the Middle East. The price range is minimum 5 lakh for a good-looking, voluptuous girl and goes up to 1 crore.
Chatur Singh is taken into police custody immediately. However, he refuses to share details about the flesh trade. ACP Khatri is the in-charge of this case.
Khatri: “You silly muck! Tell me about your boss. I want to know each and every detail about the business. If you don’t tell me (slaps Chatur), I have other ways. Do you want me to show you my true colours?”
Chatur spits on Khatri’s face.
Khatri gets into a fit of rage and punches Chatur’s face twice. His lip starts bleeding and eye turns black and blue. No luck. Khatri commands his havaldar to make the culprit confess the truth.
After 2 days, Ronnie, another team member of Lallan gang is arrested. No luck even this time. Next day, Khatri receives a call from John, the right-hand of Lallan.
‘Don’t waste time else you will have to pay a heavy price.”, and he hangs up.
Meanwhile, Neerja is in talks with advocate Sarita who is a renowned lawyer in cases related to women trafficking. Neerja is a bit impatient and yells, “Why isn’t the police able to catch Lallan?’ Now, even the officer-in-charge has received threat calls.
Sarita gestures Neerja to calm down. “It isn’t so easy to convict Lallan. He is a dreaded criminal and has been involved in several rape cases too. Let us give police their due. They are trying hard.” She offers Neerja a glass of water.
3 years later
Khatri spots John at a roadside dhaba on NH8. Khatri alerts his team, ‘Our man is here. I am sending location on Whatsapp. Looks like he will be here for some time. Come quickly.’
The team reaches the said location and arrests John after 15 minutes’ brawl. In the Press Conference after 2 days, the Commissioner of Police addresses, “We have finally arrested Lallan and rescued 120 girls. The girls were given a high dose of drugs so they have been sent to a shelter home in Delhi for rehabilitation. Few girls who were physically tortured and sexually abused have been shifted to AIIMS for treatment.”
The next day, Neerja heaves a sigh of relief as she reads the headlines “Kingpin Lallan Arrested”. Her eyes become moist as she sips tea slowly.
A report in The Hindu, dated July 31, 2019
“Recent data tabled in Parliament on human trafficking shows that the number of traffickers arrested in the country has also increased. In the year 2014, about 8,220 persons were arrested in connection with human trafficking. The figure increased 10,080 in 2015 and 10,815 in 2016. The data also points out that one in every six trafficker arrested from the country is from Bengal.
Between 2014 and 2016, 4,868 traffickers (1,384 in 2014, 1,637 in 2015, and 1,847 in 2016) were arrested from the State. This accounts for 16.7 % of all traffickers (29,115) arrested in the country between 2014 to 2016. These figures were provided by Ministry of Home Affairs in Lok Sabha in response to a question on July 23.”
Achintha who had a curly hair and some arrogant look on his face was not an educated person. By looking at his face, anyone could judge what kind of a person Achintha was. Achintha was a violent, hot- headed man who got angry very quickly. Hailing from a poor family, Achintha was 35 years old. Because of his uneducatedness, he was unable to find a good job and a good partner. Therefore, he spent most of his time in search of a beautiful woman to marry. He always dreamed of leading a luxurious life with a beautiful woman and spent his time in places where he could spot beautiful women.
One fine day, he was waiting to catch a bus heading to Hanguranketha in order to visit one of his relatives. Quite by accident, while he was standing in the bus halt, he was lucky to spot a beautiful girl clad in a white saree. The saree fit tightly around her beautiful curves and now there was no turning back for Achintha. He was glued to this beautiful lady. Achintha kept on looking at the lady for a little while. He somehow wanted to begin a friendship with the girl who was in the company of her mother. Achintha was determined, come hell or high water, that he would somehow marry her.
Achintha boarded the same bus that the girl and her mother boarded and kept a close eye on the girl. He thought of visiting his relative later because he gave priority to this matter. He was fortunate enough to sit next to the girl. After a little while, he started to grab a conversation with this beauty. “What is your name?” was his first question but she stonewalled him and turned her head the other way. Achintha did not upset his mood by the negative responses he got because his only objective was to get accquaintained with the beauty.
The more he looked at her, the more he wanted to get closer to her. Her beautiful red lips were like rose petals. She was little embarrassed but Achintha fathomed that the girl was in favor of getting familiar with the stranger. This was a golden opportunity for Achintha as he struck up a cordial conversation with her. He found that her name is Sadamali and that she was the only child in the family. Achintha was overjoyed because the girl spoke with him. Sadamali’s mother who was seated in the center of the bus was not aware as to what was going on between her daughter and Achintha. Then, they came to the end of their journey and were just about to alight when Achintha realized that he had not got her contact number. Sadamali was not prepared to communicate with Achintha in the presence of her mother and pretended to ignore him but discreetly gave her phone number. Achintha treasured it like gold as soon as he got it. He was impatient to speak to Sadamali over the phone and begin a romantic relationship unknown to her mother.
As time went by her mother understood that Sadamali was in a relationship. Unlike earlier, her behavior was different. She used to be using her phone all the time and going out more often. She asked her daughter to tell the truth. Sadamali hesitated at the beginning but later divulged the truth and said that she wanted to marry the man with whom she was having a relationship. She revealed that his name was Achintha.
Her mother then made arrangements to meet Achintha to know whether he was a good man. Achintha then visited Sadamali’s home with his mother and spoke to her parents. However, Sadamali’s parents did not like this affair because Achintha did not have a good family background and they were afraid that their daughter would suffer after her marriage.
“Amma, Thattha, let me marry Achintha. He is a village man brought up with good moral values. I am sure that he would be a good husband to me. He will definitely look after me with love and care.”
“No. How can we give you to a man who is uneducated? Remember you are girl who is literate. Just think!! You have a good job. He does not even have a proper job. He is totally a wretched man. He does not suit you at all. My daughter, don’tworry. We will find you a suitable partner.”
And a heated argument began between Sadamali and her parents. Sadamali always thought that Achintha was her soul-mate and her mother was obstructing their relationship. No matter how much her mother told her to stop continuing the affair, Sadamali could not do it because she was blinded with love. After few years, Sadamali’s mother reluctantly agreed to the marriage. It was because Sadamali always troubled her mother by asking permission to marry Achintha.
As Sadamali hailed from a respectable family, her parents thought of taking a grand wedding. Days passed away soon. The wedding day of Achintha and Sadamali approached. They arranged a reception after the poruwa ceremony. At the reception, liquor was served and Achintha could not stop himself from drinking. He drank like a fish and was the worse for liquor by the time the reception was halfway through. Sadamali’s mother felt that it was a bad sight but she could do nothing at this point.
After the wedding, the couple moved away and lived far away from the family. Sadamali soon conceived and Achintha began to physically abuse her. She even had to stay in the hospital because Achintha had hit her stomach.
“You bitch, you should leave my house soon or else, I am going to chase you. If you can’t cook what I want, just stay away from me. I do not want to be with a woman who does not obey my orders.”
Achintha always came home drunk. He used to blame Sadamali using filthy words for not preparing the meals he wanted. As Sadamali was pregnant, she could not spend time in cooking delicious meals that he wanted. But Achintha failed to look into the needs of Sadamali during her pregnancy. He always wanted to harass Sadamali because he now began to see her as a burden.
It was too late for Sadamali to realize that Achintha did not have a good job. He had lied to Sadamali saying that he was holding a good position in a reputed company but actually he was a security officer in the company.
Sadamali did not inform her mother about the turn of events. She suffered a lot mentally and hoped that this man would change after the birth of the child. Days passed away and Sadamali’s labour day came but Achintha was not at home to take her to the hospital. A neighbor took her to the hospital because Achintha was drinking with his friends in his workplace. Sadamali delivered a beautiful girl who looked so much like Sadamali. Achintha did not even know about where Sadamali was. When her mother came to see her new born granddaughter, she inquired about Achintha and Sadamali gave an evasive reply. Her mother felt that all was not hunky dory and that her daughter was hiding something from her. But she did not want to pursue the matter and thought to herself that with time, everything will come out in the wash. She left home after showering the baby with gifts.
Sadamali came home with her baby and had to do all the household work all by herself because Achintha was mad for liquor day in and day out. He was not concerned about his duties as a father now. As a husband, he had not at least given a cent to Sadamali up to now. His rude behavior of attacking Sadamali had not stooped. Sadamali then realized that it was useless to stay with Achintha anymore and she packed her bags to go back to her parents.
A few days later, Achintha found that his wife and child missing. He made his way to his mother in law’s house in Polgahawela. He was sure that his wife had gone to her mother’s place. He left the place by his motorbike carrying a bottle of acid with him. He entered the house calling for Sadamali but she did not want to come out. Instead, her mother came out. Her mother noted that Achintha was in a foul mood.
“Where is Sadamali? Why did she come without informing me? I want to talk to her.”
Achintha tried to enter into the room forcefully where Sadamali and child were but her mother did not allow him to do so. Achintha took the bottle of acid from his pocket and tried to throw it to Sadamali’s mother but fortunately she could take her face away. Powerfully fighting with Achintha, she got the bottle of acid into her hands and threw it on his face instead. Achintha’s face was severely burnt and his vision got impaired. He left the place saying “ubalaadataberunakiyalahithaganin”. He was utterly disappointed.
After Achintha left the place, Sadamali came out to see what happened. Her mother’s eyes were filled with tears. She started telling everything. She was totally in an upset mood.
“Do you now realize the bad consequences of an arbitrary marriage? You took unanimous decisions without listening to your mother and father. This is a good lesson for your life. At least now listen to your parents.”
“Yes amma. I accept my fault. I will never go against your will here after. If I had obeyed your decision earlier, I would have not faced such a terrible fate. Achintha ruined my whole life. I was in a hurry to get married and ultimately he cheated me.”
Sadamali could not stop crying in front of her mother. She now repented and understood that the decision that she took without listening to her parents was nasty.
After few months, Sadamali came to know that Achintha had met with an accident and died on his way back home after visiting them. Hearing about his demise, Sadamali did not feel much sorrow, because by now she did not have any sweet memories left with him. Widowed Sadamali had to bear all the responsibilities of the child. She happened to play two roles, as a mother and father. No matter how much her mother tried to arrange another marriage, Sadamali did not like it because she was scared of getting married again. What Sadamali finally told her mother was that after their death, she would go abroad with the child and settled down there; because she was afraid of living in Srilanka all alone. She thought that Srilanka would not be a safe country for a lone woman to live with her children.
Today we live in a new environment where the universality of some abiding values and even some issues of global concern are being challenged as unpatriotic and contrary to our own national consciousness.
Former SriLankan president, Maithreepala Sirisena said in an event at United Nations headquarters that “Women hold up more than half the sky”. This event which focused on ending discrimination against women by 2030 brought 80 world leaders under one platform.
Violence against women is a global menace despite national and international human rights instruments that have been introduced so far. Violence against women as well as girls is recognized as one of the most omnipresent, continuous and destructing human rights violations in the world. In a report of World Health Organization, it is mentioned that every three women experience violence (physical or sexual) by an intimate partner within their lifetime. Also, it is revealed that one in every three women is a victim of homicide (killed by an intimate partner or family member). It seems that the home is the most dangerous place for women to get abused. Domestic violence committed by an intimate partner has serious impacts to the whole spectrum of the society. Children who have firsthand experience with regards to violence are more prone to suffer emotional and behavioral disturbances. Especially female children become victims. These victims may suffer stress, psychological trauma, sleeping disorders and anxiety which finally provoke them to commit suicide.
While the forms of violence may vary across social, economic, cultural and historical contexts, it remains as a devastating reality in all parts of the world, affecting seven out of ten women in most countries.
Everybody knows that women play a significant role in the family. The concept of a family heavily depends upon the character of a woman. Women play many roles in society. At one time a mother, wife, teacher. On the other hand, a daughter or a sister. She always takes a responsibility in household management. If such a lady is subjected to physical torture or any psychological abuse, it would be a negative impact to the entire family unit. The psychological trauma and physical abuse would be the reason to a corrupted and an ineffective society.
After adopting the Declaration on the Elimination of violence against women, the United Nations General Assembly in 1999, designated 25 Th of November as the International day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. Activists around the globe have been marking this day since 1981.
The diverse aspects of violence have gained global recognition since 1995. In response to this factor, the world has progressed in creating preventive measures. According to World Health Organization, gender inequality is the main reason for violence against women. Attitudes of male sexual right, societal beliefs, lack of laws, weak legislations for sexual violence intensifies the use of physical and sexual abuse against women.
The impact of violence against women on society creates a number of socio-economic and political issues which ultimately would lead us to many difficulties as a nation. It is like a sinking ship. Our proud culture and values would get deteriorated.
Despite the existence of abundance of domestic and international mechanism for the protection of women’s rights and liberties of girl child, certain gaps are visible which need immediate attention of relevant authorities.
Srilanka too has recognized violence against women as a prevalent issue in the country. It is one of the first countries to ratify the UN international standard on women which is a convention on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW).Some acts were passed in the parliament to address the issue. They are “The Penal code” that supports the criminal justice of the country is a huge instrument which remedies violence against women, National Action Plan for Women in 1996 and Prevention of Domestic Violence Act 34 of 2005.But, despite the substantial law being more female friendly, the attitudes of the society towards women is yet to be ameliorated.
The Executive Director of Law and Society Trust, Dinushika Dissanayake says that although Srilanka has sufficient legislative measures, problem is with the implementation. Women are shy to voice their problems. They feel ashamed to report such incidents. So they hide them.
According to recent researchers, Srilanka has taken a few steps to eliminate this problem. During the period of ethnic conflict, there had been a sharp rise in incidents related to violence against women in areas affected by war.
The Women in Need is an organization which provides relief for victims. In the year 2016, women WIN has counseled about 20,000 women and girls. They had registered about 7000 new clients for legal advice and had gone to court 5000 times. According to the data collected, there had been 700 cases of sexual abuse, 900 cases of physical abuse, 3000 cases of psychological abuses, 145 cases of child abuse and 15 cases of rape. In the first three months of the number of cases has increased 1723 cases of physical and sexual abuse .This organization has also received a certain number of cyber harassment complaints in 2019
Avoiding delays in the criminal justice system is extremely important. For example, the recent rape and murder case of Vidya in Srilanka was heard for six consecutive days at the High Court. This is actually a good practice. Access to justice should be effective as much as possible. It is not only the rich women, but all ladies whether poor or rich should be able to attain justice without any delay.
Not only the judiciary, but other institutional reforms are also necessary. The public should be educated (especially school children) on good parenting and improving legal literacy of women should be done in countries.
The Executive Director of WIN, Savithri Wijesekara says that unlike in the past, the present type of violence seems to be more brutal and gruesome. About 15 years ago, it was a slap and black eye but now the victims lose their lives more often. Women usually tolerate for 3 to 5 years before they visit an organization such as WIN. She says. As far as sexual and physical violence are concerned, financial vulnerability, stigma, and impression of the society towards divorce are the reasons that prevent women seeking help from organizations.
As Wijesekara says, mutual respect, comprehensive sexual education, awareness of mothers regarding social norms, play a significant role in alleviating VAW. According to Wijesekara, when you bring up children in a certain culture, you expect a girl to listen, tolerate and to be patient while inculcating good values. However, that cannot be expected from a boy. You don’t tell your son to listen; that your wife may be right. Never. Mother doesn’t say that. That is the tradition. However, now women are more independent and educated but men expect everything to be done by women. Here is the place where disputes occur.
Media too can play crucial role in eradicating VAW. Media needs to report everything related to incidents of VAW in order to create awareness on it. At this juncture, sensationalism and usage of gender discriminatory language should be removed. Sepali Kottegoda who was the Executive Director of Women and Media Collective opines balanced reporting can bring changes in societal attitudes and values. Also, paving way to mitigate this issue. According to my point of view, inculcating humane values and respecting cultural representation would be an initiative to get rid of this problem at grassroots level. Implementing strict law and order, positive male participation in awareness programmes are some other means to overcome this crisis.
Srilanka is considered as a country that belongs to a country that runs back centuries. Women have played an iconic role in flourishing the nation since ancient times. Women and girl-child should never be left behind on narrow understandings.
It is high time to take an initiative to rejuvenate the existing legal framework not only to eliminate violence against women but also to have better future as a civilization with great potential. When it comes to violence based solely on a particular gender, it is more avoidable. Thereby, protection as well as prevention is not only possible but necessary. The responsibility of the whole humanity is to protect the victims of VAW and to prevent women and girls from being victims of barbaric actions of men.
We are standing in the kitchen, and we are arguing over the dirty dishes in the sink.
I am currently losing the argument, which is a shame, because I am right.
She’s saying that the pots from last night’s dinner are still dirty, and that a certain someone needs to be better about doing the dishes, and that that certain someone is her.
I point out that since she does the vast majority of the cooking, I should be the one taking care of these dishes, and was planning to get to them tonight.
She says that because I wasn’t home last night, these pots are not my responsibility.
I mention the absolutely true fact that she has done plenty of things around the house for my benefit and not her own, and suggest that it should absolutely be me who washes those pots even though I didn’t eat that particular meal.
As I said, I am right. But as I also said, I am still losing the argument, because she is closer to the sink than I am, and has already begun washing the dishes.
I try to do my fair share of cleaning up around the house. But expectations are not always shared fairly. My parents were coming to visit, and I swept the house in preparation for their arrival, but didn’t plan on doing much else to clean up. And my partner had a big list of things to clean in preparation.
And I said, “You don’t understand, you don’t have to do any of that stuff. The house is good enough. They’re my parents, it’s not your problem.”
And she said, “YOU don’t understand, if they come visit and the house is messy, then it’s going to reflect badly on me as the woman of the house, because the expectation is that it’s my responsibility to keep the house clean.”
And I said, “That’s ridiculous! It’s my house too, and it’s my parents. Why would it be your fault?”
And she said, “Yes, it is ridiculous. But it’s also true.”
Women are still expected to take care of keeping a house clean, even when they go out and work outside the home just as much as men do.
In my house, I try to do my part. I generally do the dishes, sweep up now and again. I tried to clean the stovetop, but couldn’t get some gunk off the burner, even when I’d sprayed all the cook-top cleaning stuff on it.
I mentioned this to my partner, and she magically got it all clean. I asked her, “How do you know how to do that?” And she said, “Because I’m a girl, we’re supposed to know that stuff. And I say that with no sarcasm, but a little bit of bitterness.”
She’s bitter because she was just expected to take on a lifetime of cleaning, just because she’s a girl. Nobody asks for a lifetime of cleaning up everyone else’s mess. But it seems like a lot of people think that’s just what a wife should do, clean up everything for everyone all the time.
My partner and I talked about this, and we agreed: We could use a wife.
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